Hypocrisy about same-sex needs:

Hypocrisy about same-sex needs:

It is not that men are not aware that all men have a sexual need for men. But they have been trained to think its a despicable thing that needs to be reigned in. AND they realise that the social isolation from the male gender hinges on acknowledgement of this desire and (surprisingly) not merely upon having it -- nor even upon indulging in it if it is done without acknowledging the sexual need ----- either quietly or under certain socially approved excuses, e.g. as part of hazing/ ragging, in an absence of girls, being drunk (and thus losing inhibitions), absolute power over vulnerable men (e.g. prisoners of war), and in limited ways in medical situations, including where it is not really needed -- e.g. physical examination of recruits where they are made to unnecessarily strip.

Not surprisingly when a man (in western parlance a straight man) wants to join sexually with another man even when he shares a strong mutual desire with him, he still needs an excuse to have sex with him --- and one of the options is to resort to a drinking binge with him --- because it is a socially approved excuse. In any case, any such sexual encounter will be preceded by a lot of talk about 'girls' to fulfill the social obligation of camouflaging that obvious sexuality between two men. And then they have sex under the excuse that now they are sexually aroused and since there is no girl, they must have sex with each other (which in most cases doesn't involve anal/ oral but mutual masturbation), since it is better than having sex with oneself. Of course, the most common way is that after you have talked about girls before sleeping together, one masturbates the other in the middle of the night, in complete darkness, and noone ever says a word about it ----- even in the most vulnerable moment of orgasm they both keep a straight face ----- and go about their business like the incident never happened.

Thus the sanctity of the social mechansims, towards which men have been made so deeply loyal, has been maintained, and the society goes about its business of claiming that sexual desire of a man for another man is something that just cannot happen....... and that its only when there is a woman inside the man that he starts to desire another man. All men know this is not true, but they still uphold this notion in public and private because of their loyalty to these mechanisms.

Two (straight) men with strong sexual desire for each other, who are emotionally extremely attached to each other ----- would still go through this elaborate procedure to camouflage their sexual desire, so that their same sex desires are not acknowledged --- even when no one else is watching. Such is the degree and depth of control that social mechanisms of oppression have over men. There are two factors that are working over men here:

- fear: i.e. the fear of crossing the 'line' and losing 'manhood' (straighthood in western parlance), in one's own eyes.

- Strong but misplaced sense of loyalty to these mechanisms and the boundaries created by it.

In order to defeat these mechanisms of oppression, men should not only reject the 'homosexual' label, but also the very concept of 'homosexuality' that treacherously assumes that men are basically heterosexual ..... and not only that, they also have a repulsion for same-sex intimacy....... and that same-sex desires are a minority....... and more significantly, that they constitute a different gender (called third sex in traditional societies and renamed as a sexual category -- 'homosexual' --- in heterosexual societies)..